Saturday, 1 February 2014

A letter to my daughter as she turns one!

My dearest daughter!

Today you turn one year old. I still have those moments fresh in my mind when I first held you in my arms. You looked like a stranger to me, but then, it has been exceptionally emotional and excitement too for me. Since then I counted your age first by days, then by weeks and then by months. I knew being a mother would be a tough road to be taken, but I also knew that it would be one of the best journeys of all time.

But this journey became more difficult and rough when your father was taken away from our lives. I thought I would share your tantrums and responsibilities with him (which he would share with all happiness). Share the happiness of all the milestones achieved by you step by step. I am sure enough to say that he would have been the best daddy ever!

While dealing with the initial chaos of this tragedy, only your smile kept me going. I want you to know that you were my only reason to wake up every morning, to eat and take care of myself alongside taking care of you. Sometimes, I also wonder, how could I sustain such a misfortune in my lifetime? Then again when I watch you growing up and I fulfilling your basic needs, I see my purpose of being alive in my darkest hours.  

Among all this, I also admit that there were days where my sudden out-bursts of anger and frustration has taken a toll, not at you but the on my fate and situation. There were also days where weight of being a solo parent came crashing down to me and startled me altogether. But your smile would always tell me that everything will be alright very soon.

Today, with your uncertain, but determined steps towards me assure that you and I together would definitely walk the journey of life with more honor and pride.

As I am writing this, tears are rolling down my checks, but trust me these tears are not in the demise of your father, but in the urge to increase all my strength to take care of you.

Lastly, I would like to say, you will realize that you and me are going to be a different family than the families you see around you. We will be different but in a good way. And I promise that, though a lot has changed for me but I will not let that change affect you in any way in fulfilling your dreams and wishes.


Your ever-loving